Surprise

Surprise! My hubby surprised me when I got home from picking up the girls last night. He drove 5 hours to come home from Medicine Hat. He'll be home all day today and then will probably head back to Vauxhall tomorrow. My eldest was so excited. She's a real daddy's girl. We were supposed to go to Rhyme Time today. But the hubby phoned from town and said we should really not bother. The roads are like a skating rink and he already came across one accident. He was probably thankful because 3 years ago he would have been the one out there in the cold and snow cleaning it up. Well I think I'm going to go find a baking project to do with the 3 year old.

Quiet

Well, I'm having a bit of break today. While I did have to go to town to do a few errands I now have the afternoon to relax. My mom phoned this morning and said she'd take my girls since her physio appt had been moved to Thurs. It always feels odd to be here at home without the boisterous energy of my 3 year old and the babbling of the 10 month old. It does feel good to be having a few moments of peace. Without the worry of waking someone or wondering how many more minutes I have to write or just sit. I actually feel as though I could sleep but it feels like such a waste because it's only a couple hours of me time. I think any mother out there can sympathize. It's definitely not that you don't love your babies it's just that in the process of having babies and taking care of them (because God knows that no one can take care of them like you) you sort of lose yourself. You don't take the time to do things that replenish your spirit and resources. It seems to be important judging by how bitchy I was yesterday. I hate that feeling. I hate snapping at my children but when you're on edge already you can only handle the question "why?" so many times.
I'm on my one hour left count down to picking up the girls so I'm going to get some writing done. I don't want to feel completely guilty.

Alone

Well, the hubby left for Medicine Hat this morning. He'll be gone for at least 2 weeks-I think. I'm not used to having him gone. Last year about this time he was working up at Calahoo near Edmonton and I never knew when he was coming home. Even when we had our 2nd daughter he was only home for a couple weeks. It was bad because I had my c-section to deal with so my mom was over a lot. But it is necessary that he go away to work because that is where the work is. It's supposed to be a very slow spring in the oil field so get work while the getting is good.
The girls are feeling better, mostly. The noses are still running but have slowed to a drip.
I'm trying to work on some writing while hubby is away. When he left at 6:30 I got up and wrote for an half an hour or so. Maybe I need to make this a habit so I can get my book finished.

When Will It End

My girls are sick...again or still. The runny noses are back and the coughs and the fevers. Arghh! Now I woke up this morning with another sore throat. My luck I'll be sick for Valentine's Day this weekend after going to all the work of finding a sitter. Oh well, I guess things could be a lot worse.
I watched some more Moonlighting last night. I'm on season 3 and the one I watched last night was hillarious. Even my hubby was laughing. I love old TV shows, Magnum PI, Remington Steel, A-Team etc.
My new "diet" is going good. I don't know if I've lost anything yet because we aren't supposed to step on the scale for 2 weeks and I'm only on day 5. I'm curious. And truthfully I'll be a little choked. If you only knew how much money I've spent over the years on diet books. But it'll be turning a new page and I'll get rid of the other books for good and concentrate on eating when I'm hungry, stopping when I'm full and eating consciously. It sounds so simple and it has been. Again it might have something to do with the cd I listen to every night. If this works I'm going to buy this book for my dad. He has lost weight recently but he always has to fight to keep it off. I've gone to my parent's house and there is my dad eating straight out of the fridge with the door wide open. He also can't seem to leave food on his plate. I'd love to see him free once and for all. so hopefully...

A new way to diet

It seems like I've been on a diet forever. My mom was a Weight Watcher's leader when I was a teenager. She lost something like 60 lb in 9 months. She since then gained it back, thanks to anti-depressants and the house fire 4 years ago. In July she went to Herbal Magic and has almost gotten to her goal, so a loss of over 50 lb.
I'm sick to death of weighing and measuring (food and myself) and of keeping food journals. But I fear gaining more weight. Not that I'm grossly huge or anything. I've got ten pounds to lose to be back where I was before I got pregnant with my second child. Now I'm up 5 lb down 5 lb. Up and down. Not to mention compulsive eating and sometimes purging. It's awful and it must stop.
I was watching Steven and Chris a couple weeks ago and they had Paul McKenna on who has written the book I can make you thin. This is my second day on it and so far so good. You get to eat whatever you want, there are no "bad" food lists, you don't weigh for like 2 weeks ( a scary prospect for me). It seems like an interesting way to do it. Amazingly you eat when you're hungry, you eat whatever you want, you eat consciously (no more eating with books and TV) and stop when you are full. Seriously. There is also a hypnosis cd you listen to every day for 2 weeks. I'm willing to try anything. So we'll see where I am in 2 weeks.
Keep your fingers crossed and wish me luck.