Wednesday, September 30, 2009

what a week!

Yeah I think I kinda missed a week. Whoops. Kept meaning to catch up the next day and then the next. But somehow it just didn't happen.
My hubby went away to work again. That always sends me on the spin cycle for a day or better until I just get too busy and tired for it to bother me. Then the girls and I get into a routine and he comes home and sometimes messes it up. But it is worth it. My dd#1 is really getting where she misses him. She'll say she just doesn't care about anything but you know she's missing someone. The little one doesn't really seem to care one way or another. She just gets mad when you don't let her have the phone when he calls. She says "allo" then she just smiles and doesn't say anything else. She is only 17 months old so you know. She has taken to screaming lately, about everything. High pitched and at the top of her lungs. It is driving me absolutely nuts.
The weather is so crazy here. Last week my girls were wearing their sundresses and this week they are wearing toques. It might even snow this weekend. I am hoping not. I guess we made it to Oct better than the snow we got in August last year. But still if it didn't snow til Dec my feelings would not be hurt.
I finally joined a site for bulimics. I have been this way for so long I don't even remember when it started. All I know is I need to recover. It's getting to be hard hiding it from my girls. I've been hiding it for years but it is time to get it done with. So hopefully I can. No wrong attitude. I will accomplish what I am setting out to do. I just need to start taking a little me time. A moment to relax at the end of the day. So I'm going to go do that right now. A bath, a book and a cup of tea. Then hope to heavens that the girls sleep through the night. Good night!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Yes, I did miss my Wed blogging but with good reason. The hubby has been working away since Sat and the job hit a snag so he came home Tues night. He decided to use his first day off in 3 weeks going to the city. Not what I would have chose but to each his own. We had to take the girls because my parents were packing getting ready for a week long vacation. I really, really missed my day off.
I'd all ready been to the city on Monday. I took my suburban which held everybody, my mom, sister and brother plus the girls. The girls were not on their best behavior. They spent a lot of time crying in stores probably why my siblings made themselves scarce, often.
The youngest had a good reason for being grumpy. Sunday she burnt her finger on the lawn mower muffler. I was filling it with gas and couldn't even grab her and before I knew it she touched it. So she has a burn the length of her pointer finger and one in the tip of her middle finger. Even though I know it wasn't my fault and that things happen it still makes you feel awful.
Anyways, we spent Wed in the city as well. Yeah. The hubby needed a new cell phone and also a new carrier as he has been getting a lot of dropped calls. Not great for work. So $350 later he was set up. Yikes! Thank goodness he's been working a lot lately. We got home about 4 then he had to go get the gravel truck for hauling contaminant out of a plant. He'll probably do that the rest of the week.
My poor baby. I really dropped the ball this week. I don't know where my head is. She's been waking in the middle of the night again. I thought it was a faze so I most of the time just let her cry for a few minutes (no more than 5 or 10) and she goes back to sleep. But I was changing her diaper and she was fussing and I got a glimpse of a molar poking through. I should've guessed but I didn't. Feel stupid much? Oh yeah.
I was in my shed the other day. I heard a soft shushing noise and went looking for it. It you can believe it it was a butterfly with a ripped wing. Just raising and lowering its wings trying to escape. If I'd been braver I would've put it out of its misery. But I didn't. I took it out to the garden so it could die somewhere nice instead of the dark shed. Lame, I know. My hubby would just laugh if he read this.
I also discovered a mouse in the house Sunday. Yuck. I came down the hall and there it was scurrying under the dishwasher. So Tues I finally got around to cleaning. I pulled out the stove and cleaned under it. Since the dishwasher is right next to it there is an open space so I put down mouse poison. It's where I know my girls are definitely not going to get into it. The hubby put down traps when he got home. But that mouse keeps eating the peanut butter off of them. I just want it gone. I hate killing creatures but if something comes into my house and is making a mess and crapping all over things it's got to go. Sorry.
That I guess brings me to today. I was planning on spending the day just getting caught up on housework and paying bills etc. Instead I get a call from my mom. They were almost ready to leave and they got a call from neighbors to the east. The cows were on there land. So I took the girls and dropped them off for Mom to watch. Dad and I went over and chased cows in and then proceeded to spend the next 2 1/2 hours fixing fence. These cows of ours have absolutely no respect for fences. I'll be so glad when we can truck them east back to the in laws. I'm not a cow person. I hate seeing them so cute knowing that they're heading to the slaughterhouse someday. I do eat beef but I have trouble looking them in the eye. So I try to avoid them as much as possible. My hubby isn't really a cow person either but we got them given to us so how do you say, "no thanks." In the fall when we sell the money is a big relief because work is usually so slow in the winter.
So I think I'm done. The youngest is having a nap and the oldest is watching Diego. I think I need to sit with a book and a cup of tea.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Busy Busy

Today I'm definitely not getting in as much writing as I would like.
First, I took the girls over to Moms and by the time I walked home again it was about 10:30.
Then, I had to hang out the laundry and clean bathrooms. Stuff has been building up lately so I did some windows, vacuumed and mopped.
I'm also making homemade chicken noodle soup since we had roast chicken for supper last night I'm making it from scratch. Must be feeling ambitious.
I was down another pound this week so that's 19.5 down and 2 to go. Whoo hoo!
I'm reading, Paulo Coelho's The Devil and Miss Prym. I am really getting a lot out of his books lately.
I feel like I'm floating aimlessly when it comes to spiritual matters. After years and years of going to church, I just don't feel that is the best place for me. I've opened my mind to many different possibilities as my parents have. I just want to feel inner peace and contentment.
I had so many ideas for this blog this week. I'll have to start jotting ideas down during the week since my memory is not what it used to be.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Another Wed.

Today is the day I really look forward to. My mom takes my girls and I'm able to do whatever I want. I can write, watch movies, clean house (haha just kidding), work on art or scrapbook or lay in bed and read all day. It my time to regain a bit of myself.
I'm trying to get in the habit of doing this blog on Wednesdays. That way I don't have any distractions. No trying to type with kids hanging off of my legs and screaming. I love my girls but the screaming is really getting to me. The littlest one is coming into her personality and the older one is having a hard time with this. She can't understand why dd#2 screams when she takes something away.
I've been doing something about my weight lately. I'm down 18 pounds with only another 3-5 to go. It actually came off relatively easy once I set my mind to it. It's just good to be back in my clothes and be back in general. No spare tire around the middle. Yeah!
Now I'm trying to decide on writing goals for this week. I've been giving a lot of thought to writing fillers and articles for magazines. I'm kind of sorry I didn't pay more attention to the non fiction side of things with some of the courses I did. I went in focused on fiction and did well with that but I think that non fiction might be what I need to be doing. I know it's awful but I need to make a bit of money to help out. For what I'm qualified for that would mean a minimum wage job, which would be fine. I've done it before. Except now I have two children who need to be looked after and that costs money. So I'd probably be working just to pay for child care. So not a big help.
My hubby is always after me to finish my book. Yes, but to what end. Just because I finish it doesn't mean it will ever be published. I know, there's that bad attitude coming out again. But I feel like I'm just being realistic. And if I do finish it and sell it, it's not going to help us now.
But I guess I should quit lamenting and go get something useful accomplished.
It's my day.