Old Friends

Well, we had our first meal with a half of a couple we used to spend a lot of time with. She was once my best friend and he, I've known all my life. The she of the relationship I haven't seen since last xmas (07) but we have kept in touch with him. He invited us to supper last night. We finally met his love interest and they've been together for quite a while now. It was harder than I thought it would be to be in that house and to see someone else in the kitchen. He had the kids and it was nice to see them because it's been a year or so since I've seen them too. I feel like I've missed so much with them. They've grown up so much. I remember holding both of them when they were babies. I missed them more than I thought. So I think right now I'm going through almost a grieving period. I have no really close friends at this point., except my mom and my hubby. I think I'm a bit scared to get close to anyone for fear I will lose them. I know I need to move on and find new friends but...
We are going to another friends place tonight. I go to a kid group with her and he's another sweetheart. They are good couple friends since my dh and both get along with them. But I feel as though I'm holding them at arm's length.